Life.

yes, it's a cute freakout post...



awesome.
That will be all.

Shwing.

It's waterproof. It goes for 15 hours on BATTERIES. DVD BURNER BUILT IN.
If this doesn't give you at least 13.5 million boners, than you're not me.

Humans

Some of my favs from square america.
I suggest you click 'em to view full size.

Beaver Fever

I have mixed feelings about threadless, but this gave me a chuckle. I like the art style (and concept).
By some dude named Andy Gonsalves.
You can get this on a Tshirt.


clicko to make it larger.

If you pay for it, it is no dream

On amazon:

Uranium Ore

and

La Mer Creme de La Mer

More options

Bitches Like Textin. Bitches Love Smiley Faces.

This post is about Texting. Like on your cell phone.

I don't know about you, but I don't have time to read nothin that a muthafucka type with his thumbs.
Fun Fact:
Nothing typed by someone's thumbs has ever been important.

Warning: Stop reading here.

Texting is an interesting new technology. That's right, New. Which is to say that it is different than letter writing, emailing, calling, instant messaging, etc.
It is most akin to the schoolage passing of notes in class.
I have found that it is a terrible technology unless you understand its intended use.
It should not be used to replace conversation. If you are sending something that you would say in normal conversation, Don't. It is not for conversing.
There should rarely be more than one reply.
I've rather enjoyed it as a mobile note passing (teleportation) technology.
Now I can receive pointless dribble spibble whilst I Get Things Done. I can earn money, lay about, paint, or any other special activity, while simultaneously being joyed with pointless quips from my friends.

This post started because I realized that my phone is very limited. When I went to buy it, I basically asked for the Grandma model, and let me tell you, Grandmas ain't textin.
My phone, it turns out, can only save up to thirty (30) texts at once. I usually delete them as a read them, but occasionally, something just strikes me, and I can't stand to make it disappear forever.
So the time has come to delete these treasures, and here, for posterity, is a short list of the survivors, now preserved forever, or at least until the Internet dies.
Hey, it's not quite printing.

* After 10 seconds in nashville, i have determined that it is full of the elderly population of america.
* Friday...A plan must needs be in order for superior A plus happy time?
* I feel i should be wearing a hat.
* Land, lots of it. Starry skies etc.
* I am encountering an angry squirrel right now.
* Mmm i love dig in the morning.
* How do you walk around without the words "caution hot" warning all over you? Is that legal?
* I'm on a magical mystery tour.
* Today i found out that men with one eye do not make good gas station attendants.
* Sha doo bee
* Q. Are we not men?
* I trust you're spending the day in your birthday suit...;-) (note the smiley face. Coincidentally, the person who sent me this a while ago drunkenly explained to me last night, "I hate emoticons")
* Twang twang
* Still pinking you pinko?
* You make me so happy
* Vag jay jay? (the question mark was emphasized)
* I won't forget to put roses on yr grave.
* Tramps like us and we like tramps
* Andy warhol. Andy warhol!
* Tonight I die on a cold, damp beach.
* I'm like a toad on fire. I can hear it, screaming into a belly of light and horror.
* Rock'n'roll means well but it can't help tellin young boys lies.
* Keef just brought a tear to my jaded eye.
* In memory of Vonnegut, let's dress up as tricycle thieves and move north.
* Schmillson!
* Let's celebrate bastille day early.
* I'm a trans-sexual horse breeder from Michigan visiting the French country side. I'm surprised you were undable to determine that from my eye glasses.
* Hi. I'm Harry Boardman. In the year 1452 I perfected the art of candle capping. Now, five years later, a brain disease causes me to scream at ham.
* "I'm not your fucking drummer, you're my fucking singer!" - Charlie to Mick.
* I'm leaving you for a more responsive graham 2.0


:)

Combewl!

Here's a nice thang with Cindy Cashdollar, Larry Campbell, Theresa Campbell, and Amy Helm. I've been fortunate enough to see two of these performers, Larry and Amy, a few times now.
I've seen Mr. Campbell with both Dylan and Amy's daddy, Levon. They just don't come any better than him. Skilled, tasteful, smart, plays well with others. I've been impressed and reimpressed.
I've seen Ms. Helm with Levon and with her band, Olabell. They are very worth a listen. Great roots music, lots of vocals, awesome old Telecaster Bass. Check them out. I also had the opportunity to sort of meet her at a rehearsal she was having with Donald Fagen, up at Bearsville studios, thanks to friend and engineer Ben. That's when I found out about said bass, after asking about it whilst releaving myself in the loo next to the bassist.
Now for our feature presentation:
The sound kinda sucks, but 's'alright.


Here's something else. Involving Larry. For Nerds.
I do a lot of recording. Music. I do a lot more fiddling around with instruments and samplers and computer sequencing and synths and such than creating actual product/music, but it's a constant hobby. I hope to make a living as a mixing engineer some fine day.
I'm not much on using premade loops in my recorded music, although I've done it from time to time. These are ussually (maybe always) percussive loops of some sort. Sometimes it's just as a songwriting tool with drum loops, and sometimes I use percussion loops because it's simpler. If i have a good sounding premade loop of a shaker on every quarter note, there's probably no reason for me to rerecord it, since it's deaddumb simple, and what i'm looking for. So there you go.
Back to Larry, THE MAN HAS A SAMPLE CD!
This is probably the only instrument loop/sample cd I've ever been seriously considering for purchase.
It's called Whole Lotta Country (for christ's sake).
It fills me with joy. Fiddle, mandolin, pedal steel, banjo, dobro, hi-string guitar, Telecaster, 6-string bass, and gut bucket. All Larry Campbell, all the time. I've seen the man play a few of these, and he's consistently perfect. Awesome.
And it actually sounds really really good, and usable.
Listen and worship here, here2, and here3.
And for anyone who hasn't tried it, if your a recording guitar player, I suggest giving the "high strung guitar" a go yourself. Just get a bunch of high e strings, .10 gauge or so, and string six of em up. then tune standard, but an octave or two up for each string (except the top two). There are other variations of this as well. It gives a nice jangly, full sound for choruses, intros, etc, especially when doubled with a standard guitar.
The sample set is 99 bones, or clams, or whatever you call them. I'm trying not to buy anything for a while. We'll see.

TUB BASS

No, that's not a typo.
Some people might enjoy THIS.

Musica para 6 baterias y 1 apartamento - ZappInternet

Colugo

Kurt

"Tralfamadore #2"

i'll miss him too.

There are ants in my house...

and now they are in my pants.

Silver Screen

Beardyman

This has been around for a while, but for those who haven't seen it:
Brilliant.

i ain't gonna worry all day long

A lot of people have probably seen this already, but I really can't stay away from it. The original is one of my favorites.
This video has something special about it. It just feels like it's bursting with the truth about something. I don't know. Danko, music, life. I'm trying not to lose sleep over it. Whatever. Enjoy it.

When a lady's got her legs wide open. La-di-da.

Above is Keith Richards' answer to the question, "What is the best thing you've ever seen?"

I thought I'd do a post dedicated to Keith, since he's in the news right now, and "Jesus Christ," he's Keith, and I love him.

For anyone who may not know, Keef is currently newsworthy because of an NME interview he did. Asked about the strangest thing he's tried to snort, Keith answered:

"My father. I snorted my father. He was cremated and I couldn't resist grinding him up with a little bit of blow. My dad wouldn't have cared, he didn't give a shit.
It went down pretty well, and I'm still alive."

YES. AWESOME.
Now, if you've never read a Keith interview, they're often really enjoyable, and I rather appreciate his sense of humor and straightforward manner.
Unfortunately, Keith (or his rather, a Keef representative) has now denied this claim, saying that he was only joking, that the remark was "off-the-cuff."
FYI, daddy Richards, Bert, died in 2002, at 84.
Really though, all that matters is that he said it, and that Keith has probably snorted a number of other questionable things in his time. I don't much mind whether it's true or not, I only love the Keith character more for it.
Keith himself has said that drugs aren't as big of a deal as others make them out to be. And he should know.

Keith was in a spunky mood for the interview.
Some highlights:

There's no roll
"They forgot the roll and they only kept the rock. The roll's the whole damn thing dude, the rock is nothing, deal with it, the roll is king. Unfortunately most cats don't get behind the roll."

things I guarantee I'll never do again are...
2) Climb coconut trees
"I wasn't climbing a tree [when he fell, suffering concussion and subsequently having to undergo brain surgery], I was sitting on a fucking shrub. I was sitting on that shrub again today, but I happened to fall off it the wrong way that day."
3) Be trepanned
"I wouldn't want to do that again. It's having your fucking skull cut open. It's what I had to go through. Yes, I've been trepanned. That's quite an interesting experience, especially for my brain surgeon,
who saw my thoughts flying around in my brain. I've got pictures of it mate, yeah. They cut my head, brain, skull open, went in and pulled out the crap, and put some of it back in again. But that's the way it is, I mean, shit, Keith Richards has got to do everything once."

"...Some doctor told me I had six months to live and I went to their funeral."

"I'm the same as everyone else - same as you, same as everybody, I'm the same old bugger, just kind of lucky. I was Number 1 on the Who's Likely To Die list for 10 years, I mean I was really disappointed when I fell off the list."

My favourite new band is...
"I ain't got any, they're all a load of crap. Everyone's a load of crap...I listen to my shit, baby, Motörhead, reggae, Moroccan music. All kinds of shit."

The band I most wish I was in is...
"The Rolling Stones. They're the only band I care about, I can't wait to get back on the road with those bastards, who happen to miraculously be one of the best bands in the world. I dunno how the hell it happened. I mean you're playing beside Charlie Watts - yeah baby, you've gotta gig on."

The best time I've ever had on drugs was...
"I can't remember. It's those nights you forget, but you know what happened because there are 15 other people telling you that you were hanging naked upside down from the chandelier.
...I mean drugs have got really nothing to do with life. Drugs are there if you want them, and it's not a big fucking deal."

"I was driving through the driveway to Walt Disney studios the other day thinking, 'Jesus Christ, I'm following in the footsteps of Mickey Mouse here.'"

The coolest rock star in the world, ever is...
"Me! I mean, right, it goes without saying really, doesn't it? I mean I don't think I'm cool, it's other people that tell me I'm cool, I'm just being who I am. Just be yourself is all I can say, the rest of it's a fucking joke. 'Elegantly wasted' blah-blah-blah, I've had all of that. If you've gotta be cool be cool with yourself. If you've gotta think about being cool, you ain't cool."

I'll stop playing when...
"I croak....I've had a few brushes with old death, he's kind of a friend of mine, actually, and er, if you hang around me you'll have a brush with it too."

I love this guy.
Anyway, go listen to something by Keith's favorite band, and don't forget about the May 25 release of Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End, in which Keef will be playing a pirate, which is to say, essentially, himself.