Bitches Like Textin. Bitches Love Smiley Faces.

This post is about Texting. Like on your cell phone.

I don't know about you, but I don't have time to read nothin that a muthafucka type with his thumbs.
Fun Fact:
Nothing typed by someone's thumbs has ever been important.

Warning: Stop reading here.

Texting is an interesting new technology. That's right, New. Which is to say that it is different than letter writing, emailing, calling, instant messaging, etc.
It is most akin to the schoolage passing of notes in class.
I have found that it is a terrible technology unless you understand its intended use.
It should not be used to replace conversation. If you are sending something that you would say in normal conversation, Don't. It is not for conversing.
There should rarely be more than one reply.
I've rather enjoyed it as a mobile note passing (teleportation) technology.
Now I can receive pointless dribble spibble whilst I Get Things Done. I can earn money, lay about, paint, or any other special activity, while simultaneously being joyed with pointless quips from my friends.

This post started because I realized that my phone is very limited. When I went to buy it, I basically asked for the Grandma model, and let me tell you, Grandmas ain't textin.
My phone, it turns out, can only save up to thirty (30) texts at once. I usually delete them as a read them, but occasionally, something just strikes me, and I can't stand to make it disappear forever.
So the time has come to delete these treasures, and here, for posterity, is a short list of the survivors, now preserved forever, or at least until the Internet dies.
Hey, it's not quite printing.

* After 10 seconds in nashville, i have determined that it is full of the elderly population of america.
* Friday...A plan must needs be in order for superior A plus happy time?
* I feel i should be wearing a hat.
* Land, lots of it. Starry skies etc.
* I am encountering an angry squirrel right now.
* Mmm i love dig in the morning.
* How do you walk around without the words "caution hot" warning all over you? Is that legal?
* I'm on a magical mystery tour.
* Today i found out that men with one eye do not make good gas station attendants.
* Sha doo bee
* Q. Are we not men?
* I trust you're spending the day in your birthday suit...;-) (note the smiley face. Coincidentally, the person who sent me this a while ago drunkenly explained to me last night, "I hate emoticons")
* Twang twang
* Still pinking you pinko?
* You make me so happy
* Vag jay jay? (the question mark was emphasized)
* I won't forget to put roses on yr grave.
* Tramps like us and we like tramps
* Andy warhol. Andy warhol!
* Tonight I die on a cold, damp beach.
* I'm like a toad on fire. I can hear it, screaming into a belly of light and horror.
* Rock'n'roll means well but it can't help tellin young boys lies.
* Keef just brought a tear to my jaded eye.
* In memory of Vonnegut, let's dress up as tricycle thieves and move north.
* Schmillson!
* Let's celebrate bastille day early.
* I'm a trans-sexual horse breeder from Michigan visiting the French country side. I'm surprised you were undable to determine that from my eye glasses.
* Hi. I'm Harry Boardman. In the year 1452 I perfected the art of candle capping. Now, five years later, a brain disease causes me to scream at ham.
* "I'm not your fucking drummer, you're my fucking singer!" - Charlie to Mick.
* I'm leaving you for a more responsive graham 2.0


:)