7.04.2007

Text Dump Pt. 2

Well, it's that time again.

I'm full up. And I have some free time. Here are the best and strangest pointless wastes of time of the past couple months.

* My Cousin Arnold has been doing fascinating things in the realm of pot roast.

* I been robbing mother fuckers since the slave shit.

* Why do kids ask questions? Can't they just shut up and learn?

* "Baby baby baby" - James Brown

* There's some store in Katherine's Long Island town called HUGS AND GIGGLES. it's going out of business.

* After I finish teasing my hair baby.

* Well well well... I HOPE YOUR HAT FITS!

* Love bombs in space.

* Screaming out through the static, amplified by the sheet metal walls, in the trailer, where you choked for seven years.

* I'll stick my knife right down your throat, baby, and it hurts.

* An idea for performance art tonite: take everyones shoes as they walk in, and hammer them to the wall in the shape of a dollar sign.

* Bleep Blop Blorp

* Freedom gravy, that's what I want to be covered in. It's a beautiful nightmare and a wonderful way to die.

* YES. THE PILLS DON'T WORK.

* Penetraaation.

* We're on the good ship manage a trois.

* HIS LEGS! THEY'RE BROKEN!

* How long till your next appt, doctor?

* Gotta feed the monkey

* Are you sleeping over tonight? Just asking so i wont be sacred when you come here late.

* Cowboys are special.

* Frank is letting Grandpa Eddie test his experimental jet boots. Get down here quick.

* Remember the good old days, before you were dead in my eyes?

* They bought me a kingdom, and... Enchanted Kingdom.

* Did you know that Falling Down is the leading cause of death among seniors?

* I just faxed my resume to 800-GGPANTS.

* My name is Rudolph Teabarrer and I HATE Mormon basketball leagues.

* Iris is using a power tool in her undies.

* I see dragons in my uncle's factory. They whistle songs that would make the speed limit blush and cake imps spin about. Henry, we must leave for heaven now.

* Hovels, fences. Can't stand looking at 'em

* There are many pills a man can take Wednesday seems a bit too much to deal with.


And I'll leave you on that happy note. Clearly, texting mostly serves to confuse my already fragile brain.

1 Comment:

Maps said...

reading these almost makes me want to start paying for text messaging.

almost.

(i have fun trying to figure out which ones are tyler's.)